with
Amber Choisella
Spirit wasn’t my savior… I was
There was a time when I believed that if I meditated long enough, prayed hard enough, or pulled the “right” tarot card, Spirit would hand me the answer I craved. I wanted certainty that a divine “yes” to eliminate any form of confusion.
When I left my position in utilization management in an inpatient psychiatric hospital to follow the pull of Blossom and Rise, I pleaded with the Universe for confirmation. I asked for feathers, numbers, synchronicities, really anything to tell me I wasn’t making a terrible mistake. Ask and you shall receive, they say. But even surrounded by “proof,” I still felt terrified.
That is when I realized something that changed everything: Spirit could show me the way, but it couldn’t walk it for me. No amount of divine guidance could replace my own courage.
Spirit wasn’t my savior. I was.
The Seduction of Spiritual Dependency
As an evidential medium and therapist, I have witnessed both the beauty and the blind spots of spiritual awakening. One of the biggest was dependency disguised as devotion.
When life gets uncertain, it is tempting to hand authority to something bigger—whether that be a guide, a sign, a reading, a mentor. We call it faith, but it is often fear dressed in sacred language. I know because I did it.
I relied on Spirit to make decisions for me. Should I move? Should I end this relationship? Should I launch this program? I waited for messages, synchronicities, or a clear “yes”. But the longer I waited, the quieter everything became.
I eventually understood that the silence wasn’t punishment; it was permission. Spirit wasn’t withholding answers; it was holding space for my voice to emerge. That is when sovereignty began to take root in me: the recognition that divine partnership is not about surrendering power, but sharing it.
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